tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66791592024-03-13T23:59:01.803-04:00The AbsurdistUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger110125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1156975317505183552006-08-30T18:00:00.000-04:002006-08-30T18:01:57.520-04:00Google ranks the #1 failure<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6628/249/1600/bam-googled.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6628/249/400/bam-googled.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1155050036516162822006-08-08T11:01:00.000-04:002006-08-08T11:17:48.890-04:00Vatican City cheers as Madonna finally crucified<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6628/249/1600/madonna-cross-ap-060807.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6628/249/320/madonna-cross-ap-060807.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>A packed stadium of 70,000 pious Roman Catholics, located not but three kilometers from the Vatican City in Rome, erupted in righteous vindication as Madonna was hoisted onto a mirror encrusted crucifix last Sunday. The lynching occurred after religious leaders rallied followers decrying her use sacrilegious imagery in her Confessions world tour. Said an official under conditions of anonymity, "That woman wants a crucifixion on stage? We'll give that two-bit floosy a crucifixion!" Madonna is apparently still dangling nearing death from the disco cross, hands and feet pierced and botoxed brow encircled with a crown of rusty, barbed wire. Placards in Italian encourage passer-byers to hurl rocks, concert paraphernalia and spit at the aging <strike>false</strike> pop idol. One curio-seeking tourist was overheard to remark,"This is one pose they don't teach in yoga."Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1153939449358610712006-07-26T14:43:00.000-04:002006-07-26T14:44:09.373-04:00Duh.<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6628/249/1600/lance_bass2.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6628/249/400/lance_bass2.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1153181225750568032006-07-17T19:47:00.000-04:002006-07-17T20:55:01.260-04:00The fruits of your mother's loinsThe BBC reports: <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/5120004.stm">"Womb environment 'makes men gay'"</a>. According to a recent study, the number of biological older brothers a fellow has, the higher chance he has at being gay. So when if your worried if your kid throws funny, don't stress unless he's got fourteen older brothers born in constant succession of each other. Cause then it's more than just a lack of co-ordination.<br /><br />So in effect, does this mean God makes people gay? Or their mothers? Or which ever is less sacrilege? <br /><br />The article further comments "It adds further weight to the argument that lesbian and gay people should be treated equally in society and not discriminated against for something that's just as inherent as skin colour." <br /><br />Now, as logical and reasonable as that article sounds, be aware we are in a second dark age when science, fact and reasoning are completely suspended courtesy of this little thing called the Repulican union of Church and State. So while the optimist and logical among us are heralding a new dawn of wide-spread acceptance of homosexuality as birthright as skin colour, the pessimist in me thinks the Bush administration will not only continue his efforts to outlaw gay marriage in the US, but also <i>black</i> marriages.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1149895899212949692006-06-09T19:27:00.000-04:002006-06-09T19:31:39.226-04:00How to Be Trendy Douchebag post Sex-and-the-City (Lesson 1.1)Continuing on how to be a trendy Post-Sex and the City Douchebag:<br /><br />- Have an enraged feud with <a href="http://www.deadlinehollywooddaily.com/al-gores-huge-feud-with-lindsay-lohan/">Lindsay Lohan</a>, <a href="http://www.usatoday.com/life/television/news/2004-06-15-simple-life-main_x.htm">Nicole Richie</a> or <a href="http://www.style.com/w/feat_story/120705/full_page.html">Mary Kate Olsen</a> and only describe it to the press as "All I'm going to say is that <i>she</i> knows what she did."Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1149202227788072952006-06-01T18:45:00.003-04:002006-06-01T18:56:34.973-04:00How to Be Trendy Douchebag post Sex-and-the-City (Lesson 1.0)Ladies (and I mean ladies in the most egalitarian, non-gender specific way), <br /><br />It has come to my attention that the appalling fashion slavery gestated by HBO’s love-letter to Manhattan lifestyle, Sex and the City, has since left a gaping void in the unglamorous lives of the unwashed, ruralite masses. Lacking the commonality of a newly minted episode of sophisticated shoebox living, flamboyant fashion styling, and empowering, oversexualized cougardom, both women and men lack a cultural touchstone to pull together the collective cosmopolitan delusion into a Burberry tartan scrunchie.<br /><br />How will women sporting gargantuan lapel flower broaches cue one another in privy knowingness when strutting confidently down Main Street, Smallsville, shopping for eggs, cheese and replacement gaskets for the milking machine?<br /><br />How will men embrace metrosexuality and the cultural importance of social climbing through chest waxing?<br /><br />Well, I am here to help. Kicking off the first of what is expected to be a regular feature, I offer you the Spring/Summer Guide to Douchiness 2006: the Accessories edition.<br /><br />1) No look is complete without a rolled-up piece of overpriced plastic foam slung casually over the right or left shoulder. Not only must <strong>the Yoga Mat</strong> colour co-ordinate with your Nuala by Christie Turlington yoga outfit, but so must your attitude. The East Village bohemia exuded by the Yoga Mat projects a steady calm in all things, no matter how badly asphyxiated you are by blackening taxi exhaust fumes.<br /><br />2) The cold war may be over, but you head needn’t be. Worn over straighten hair, either straight on or crooked to one side, <strong>the Castro Hat</strong> is a look more resilient than a shoeless mother of seven in a Siberian bread line.<br /><br />3) Teetering between appointments, <strong>the Vente Soy Latte</strong> is a statement of health consciousness and caffeine dependency. Use as a defensive measure when wanting to avoid carry large parcels or avoid carrying on conversations. Even when empty, continue to sip to avoid eye contact and prying photographer eyes. Note, carrying a Vente cup branded by an independent coffee shop may label you either a hip, non-conformist free spirit or, alternately, a lesbian.<br /><br />4) This season, hang up the accessory dog and get ready for <strong>the Broach Beetle</strong>. Yes, leashing a bejeweled hissing Madagascar beetle to your shirt collar is not only an instant party conversation starter, but, in case of fire, flood, or terrorist attack, makes a protein rich, emergency snack free of artificial colors or preservatives.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1149197279166795902006-06-01T17:26:00.000-04:002006-06-01T17:27:59.183-04:00Comic books are soooo gayWhat started out as a mild Saturday Night Live satire, i.e. the <a href="http://www.quicktimeflix.net/agd/">Ambiguously Gay Duo</a>, has metamorphasized into a bona fide homosexual superhero/superheroine zeitgeist. Not one, but two significant superhero closet door splinterings have occured within the span of days. DC comics, announcing the newly revamped <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/story/arts/national/2006/06/01/batwoman-lesbian-diversity.html">Batwoman as a full fledged queer</a>, finally acknowledges that the majority of their actual comic-book reading female fans are, indeed, lesbians. Furthermore, and coincidentally timed with the release of the Brett Ratner <strike>butchered</strike> lensed X-Men 3 movie, Marvel Comic mutant <a href="http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-15490.html">"Colossus" was outed as a gay man</a>. Colossus's mutant power is to turn his circuit-boy physique into solid, organic steel- a pairing of steel and gay maleness that puts copyright lawyers of a <a href="http://www.remingtons.com/">notorius Toronto gay male strip revue</a> into a heel-grinding frenzy. Personally, I've always found comic book heros, with their improbably musculature and obsession with spandex codpieces to hint, if not outright burn, of homosexual proclivities. Plus with the anti-gay-marriage electioneering going on in the US, it just goes to prove you can't keep a fierce faggot down.<br />[originally appeared in <a href="http://blog.thismagazine.ca/">This Magazine</a>]Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1147791922166146082006-05-16T11:02:00.000-04:002006-05-16T11:05:22.183-04:00BBC: Expert farce checkerBBC fails to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5evS-ApSNQ&search=Guy%20Kewney%20BBC%20Karen%20Bowerman">interview the right expert.</a> Look at that man's face when introduced. He is in actual fact, a mini cab driver.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1145667167078903182006-04-21T20:38:00.000-04:002006-04-21T20:55:13.143-04:00Marginally more racist headlines veto'd by the New York Post<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6628/249/1600/front042106.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6628/249/400/front042106.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a> Considering the highly offensive "Wok This Way" headline splash on the front page of the bottom trolling New York Post, the Absurdist has obtained possible disgarded alternative headlines scrawled on liquor soaked cocktail napkins rescued from a back alley dumpster just off 1211 Avenue of the Americas.<br /><ul>- Bush and Jintao talk ancient Chinese secret<br />- China Pres offers menu of options, Bush order combo #9<br />- China U.S. Mutal Lespect<br />- Slanty Discussions<br />- Human Rights Violation? Ridicurous!</ul>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1144701558273047382006-04-10T16:37:00.000-04:002006-04-10T16:39:18.283-04:00Time ravages, tucks renewThe latest in <a href="http://www.psurg.com/scrotum.html">old man balls</a>. It's rather self explanatory.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1144425806512858272006-04-07T12:00:00.000-04:002006-04-07T12:03:26.526-04:00Should I be an academic?The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.<br /><br /> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?<br /><br />Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.<br /><br />One student, Charles, however, wrote the following:<br /><br />First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.<br /><br />As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.<br /><br />With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.<br /><br /> This gives two possibilities:<br /><br /> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.<br /><br /> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.<br /><br />So which is it?<br /><br />If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.<br /><br />The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is<br /> therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1144340641814682992006-04-06T12:23:00.000-04:002006-04-06T12:24:01.826-04:00Holy ShitI just quit my six digit salaried job. Holy fuck. Yes, I did negotiate a package. But fuck. Wow. Geezus.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1135380749138694312005-12-23T18:26:00.000-05:002005-12-23T18:32:35.050-05:00The Vowels of Santa ClausHas it ever befuddled you that Santa laughs with an unnatural "Ho! Ho! Ho!"? I he reallyt Jolly Ole Saint Nick or some hoochie scoring pimp daddy on the prowl for young nubile do gooders or out to spank the naughty?<br /><br />Let's skip throught the various vowel, shall we?<br /><br />The Traditional Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho!<br />The Everyman Santa: Ha! Ha! Ha!<br />The Timid Santa: He! He! He!<br />The Japanese Santa: Hi! Hi! Hi!<br />The Down Syndrome Santa: Hu! Hu! Hu!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1135304138171128092005-12-22T20:09:00.003-05:002006-04-07T12:21:19.176-04:00Bless us, it Xmas!it's been a while since I've graced this spot. And while the world continues to turn and governments continue to operate under the greatest motivators of all, hatred and greed, I feel it's time to weight in on the good and/or significant things that have happened this year past. Here is a summary of the Absurdist's 20 most important events of the year 2005.<br /><br />20. Celebrity weight loss finds new vanguards: Victoria Beckham, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, Renee Zellweger drop to bones for our impressionable youth<br />19. Live 8 wanks for politician and rockstar photo ops while raising awaress of global poverty to the ineffectual class<br />18. Critical darling Arrested Development gets sacked proving America only has time for crap<br />17. iPod not only goes video but also a boosty 20 hour battery life<br />16. Coldpay's delayed album plummets EMI quarterly earnings. Chris Martin, overburden with record label fiscal responsibility, bandages left hand in multicoloured tape<br />15. Crotchety New Corp goobles up hipster douchebag online screwfest MySpace.com<br />14. Google reigns supreme on search and stock <br />13. Avian Flu is the new Sars<br />12. Nanopublishing (re: blogging) get legit with Weblogs Inc. being snatched up America Online<br />11. Brewing racial tension in France spark riots throughout Parissiene suburbs, prompting the revision of the popular catch phrase to "Paris Suburban Stripmalls Are Burning"<br />10. Kanye West: "George Bush doesn't care about black people"<br />9. Newly elect Pope Benedict XVI doesn't care about gay people<br />8. Creationism slithers it way into the garden of America's classrooms under the guise of Intelligent Design<br />7. Canada flaunts equal marriage, straight and gay, like some kind of drama queen<br />6. Dog is cloned in South Korea using stem cell research while America sinks deeper into its self imposed scientific dark age<br />5. London gets bombed, picks itself up and keeps on swinging<br />4. The automotive lobby keeps the electric car off the roads while oil prices rocket<br />3. Katrina spanks Florida and Louisiana. Hard.<br />2. Bush admits "faulty intelligence" behind the invasion of Iraq<br />1. BradgelinaUnknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1131142526612108222005-11-04T17:10:00.000-05:002005-11-04T17:15:26.623-05:00ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY!I'm working through some serious shit right now. I really want to eliminate this asshole from my life. He has been a terrible source of grief and stress. Yes, he is my BOSS. It a epic choice between doing the job I love in a horrible horrible environment or risk finding a potentially better or worse job in a potentially better or worse environment.<br /><br />It's all about risks, folks. And sometimes, you just gotta takes risks.<br /><br />It's amazing, no? How a few lines of pecked out text can help you put everything in perspective. Or clarify what I already knew.<br /><br />Trust your gut.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1129770132133226302005-10-19T20:55:00.000-04:002005-10-19T21:02:12.136-04:00Oh, that bitch....Is she for real? The quotes! The <a href="http://worldofwonder.net/archives/2005/Oct/18/madge_hot_ballroom.wow">preaching</a>! Madonna seyz "the beast is the modern world that we live in," and people "are going to go to hell if they don't turn from their wicked behavior." Kettle? Black is calling! Officially, I rename the new album "ConDECENSION of the Dancefloor".Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1125888242212405342005-09-04T22:41:00.000-04:002005-09-04T22:44:33.790-04:00Style iconography<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6628/249/1600/01mohank.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6628/249/320/01mohank.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/01/fashion/thursdaystyles/01mohawk.html?ex=1126238400&en=bf4ab1fdc4fbb2f1&ei=5040&partner=MOREOVERFEATURES">New York Times</a> annoits Maddox Jolie, hawkapoo sporting fashion superstar.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1125402436206622632005-08-30T07:44:00.000-04:002005-08-30T07:47:32.793-04:00Attack of the Laguna Beach clones<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6628/249/1600/Picture%201.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6628/249/320/Picture%201.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Strangely, everyone on MTV's beach blanket babylon is attractive, white... and from the exact same replicant DNA. Perhaps they're harvesting these teens for organs? Dibs on left kidney!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1122952605710807532005-08-01T23:14:00.000-04:002005-08-01T23:16:45.716-04:00Thong gone wrongIt was bound to buckle under the strain. No undergarmet trend could have possibly been expected to last this long, wedgied so snuggly, without demanding a good changing. Thong sales have officially <a href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-1714950,00.html">bottomed out</a>.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1122482854152280392005-07-27T12:41:00.000-04:002005-07-27T12:47:34.163-04:00World Stupidity AwardsHanded out in Montreal, here's the tally of the <a href="http://www.stupidityawards.com/winners.html">Stupidity Awards</a>:<br /><br />The Winners of the 2005 World Stupidity Awards<br />(Winner in bold)<br /><br />Stupidest Man of the Year<br />U.S. Senator John Kerry<br />Former Ukrainian President Leonid Kuchma<br /><strong>Columnist Ann Coulter</strong> <br />NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman and Players Association Director Bob Goodenow (Shared)<br />U.S. President George Bush<br /><br />Dumbest Moment of the Year<br /><strong>Ashlee Simpson on SNL</strong><br />Basketball fight featuring Ron Artest<br />Prince Harry showing up to party in Nazi suit <br />Tom Cruise on Oprah <br />Russell Crowe throwing a phone at somebody's head<br /><br />Stupidest Statement of the Year<br />"Can you handle my truth?" - Britney Spears<br />"Go Fuck yourself" - Dick Cheney, U.S. Vice President<br />"Nooooooooooooo" - Darth Vader, in Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith<br /><strong>"They never stop thinking of new ways to harm our Country and our people, and neither do we." U.S. President George W. Bush</strong><br />"That's hot." - Paris Hilton<br /><br />Stupidest Movie of the Year<br />Elektra<br />The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy<br />Alexander<br /><strong>Alien vs Predator</strong><br />The Pacifier<br /><br />Stupidest Woman of the Year<br /><strong>Paris Hilton</strong><br />Ashlee Simpson<br />Brangelina<br />The Runaway Bride<br />Paula Abdul<br /><br />Stupidest Trend of the Year<br />Religious Fundamentalism of all kinds<br />War<br /><strong>Crystal Meth</strong><br />Seeing the Virgin Mary in toast, hamburgers etc...<br />Climate Change<br /><br />Stupidest TV Show of the Year<br />Britney Spears, Chaotic<br />Surreal Life<br /><strong>The Simple Life</strong><br />The Beauty and the Geek<br />Dr. Phil<br /><br />Dumbest Government of the Year<br />The Government of Iran<br />The Government of the United States of America <br /><strong>The Government of Canada</strong> <br />The Government of North Korea <br />The United Nations<br /><br />Stupidity Award for Reckless Endangerment of the Planet:<br /><strong>Kim Jong Il, Dictator of North Korea</strong><br />US President George Bush<br />The Vatican<br />The Government of Iran<br />Paris Hilton<br /><br />Media Outlet Which Has Best Furthered Ignorance<br /><strong>Fox News</strong><br />CBS News<br />CNN<br />Al-Jazeera<br />Newsweek<br /><br />Stupidest Award Show of The Year<br />The Oscars <br />The Grammys<br />The Daytime Emmy Awards<br />The Golden Globes <br /><strong>The World Stupidity Awards</strong>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1122137375463300202005-07-23T12:49:00.000-04:002005-07-23T13:05:32.070-04:00Meet my parents<p style="text-align:center"><img src="http://photos22.flickr.com/27987415_baac829165_m.jpg" width=100%></p>For the most part, the evolution of my psychological state is most concisely explained by this one photo. The tipping point? Dad 1.0's criminal socks and sandals <a href="http://www.sandalandsoxer.co.uk/">combination</a>.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1121821927586770932005-07-19T21:10:00.000-04:002005-07-19T21:12:07.593-04:00Everything old is stupid againWe've already witnessed Rodney Dangerfield <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090685/">go back to school</a>. There is, without doubt, no need to see Tommy Lee do the same every week, invading our homes, on <a href="http://et.tv.yahoo.com/tv/etsid506210011694/">television</a>.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1120614361594558992005-07-05T21:35:00.000-04:002005-07-05T21:46:01.600-04:00Metrosexual Version 2.0Introducing "<a href="http://www.salon.com/ent/feature/2005/06/30/smoothies/index_np.html">the Smoothie</a>". For some reason, the more <a href="http://www.afa.net/">homophobic</a> America becomes, the increasingly <a href="http://www.nbc.com/Will_&_Grace/index.html">more</a> <a href="http://www.bravotv.com/Queer_Eye_for_the_Straight_Guy/">flamboyantly</a> <a href="http://www.sho.com/site/queer/home">gay</a> it too becomes. And the sky will darken and the rivers will run red with blood, so will the hillbillies wax their chests, rods and tackle, whilst line dancing in the moonlight to European technotrance. [via Salon]Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1120525100825075852005-07-04T20:41:00.001-04:002005-07-04T20:58:20.826-04:00Sex versus crash pad..."No, I did not sleep with my houseguest when she visited Toronto. I can get laid anytime. But finding a friend to stay with in New York? That don't happen everyday."Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679159.post-1119367140034419692005-06-21T11:17:00.000-04:002005-06-21T11:19:00.040-04:00Toronto "Gay Pride" gathering....Stan<br /><br />One of my homosexual friends is having a homosexual celebration for what homosexuals refer to as “Pride”.<br /><br />This homosexual festivity is not limited to homosexuals but also friends and family of homosexuals, or generally people who are just “with it”. This is how I was honoured with an invitation. Deep down, I know homosexuals and their nefarious plotting to homosexualize me. But I’m too clever for their rouse. <br /><br />Since George is in Toronto, coincidentally or not, for “Pride”, I am delighted to extend the invitation to the lot of you. It would be great to have a cluster of fellow “Breeders” (this is what the homosexuals refer to us as) to join in on this celebration, and very importantly shield each other from acts of attempted homosexualization.<br /><br />Now, given the circumstances, as a group should we feel marginalized, prejudiced against, or otherwise make too feel the evil eye of discrimination, we have the option to depart and go hang out in our designated “straight”bourhood, were frumpy sweat pants, talk sports, have messy hair and not worry how tight our pecs, abs or buttocks look.<br /><br />Let me know the 411,<br />the absurdistUnknownnoreply@blogger.com