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The AbsurdistThe Absurdist

Friday, December 31, 2004
  Willy Wintour? Anna Wonka?


Good lord can someone help me out here? Based on this sneaky screen shot of the hallucinogenic remake of the dragon chasing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, director Tim Burton has blatantly copped the hair, sunglasses and suckled blood stained lips of a famous fashion editrix for Johnny Depp's androgynous portrayal of Willy Wonka. Who says women's fashion doesn't influence menswear? Now that men will be mimicking the styles of famous female fashion editors, The Absurdist can hardly wait for those hip fashion boys to start riffiing of the likes of bangs curling fetischist Suzy Menkes and raisinette Polly Mellon.
 

Monday, December 06, 2004
  Foreign Strippers Can't Catch A Break

It is a low time in Canada. The favouritism once bestowed upon foreign strippers wanting work visas in Canada has now been repealled. Strippers no longer enjoy preferential visa to Canada.

Those halcyon days when any buxom young girl with bedroom eyes, pert breasts and a propensity to drop trou "while paying my way through med school inCanada" are gone.

But what does this truly mean for the Canadian consumer?

"There is no shortage" claims a Montreal strip club owner in the National Post.

Sure, no shortage on quantity, but is there a shortage on quality.

Has the Canadian stripping industry gotten all hard ass on Canadian content just like the CRTC insists on a certain percentage of Canadian content as mandatory on broadcast licenses?

Is this a draconian measure to ensure that Canadian laps stay with Canadian strippers?

Will the few very best strippers go on heavy rotation until they as old, tired and played out as a Celine Dion record on K-Lite 95FM?

Will we see a brain-drain to the US over our brightest hopefuls? Isn't calling it a brain drain kind of ironic? Will there be a dramtic shortage of ping pong popping Thai dancers leading them to be hunted down to extinction
like bengal tigers or the elusive sea bass?

Will Green Peace intervene?

Will the repealled law be retroactive, thus forcing the Absurdist out of the country? Oh lord I hope not. I could never go back to the red state.
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