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The AbsurdistThe Absurdist

Wednesday, July 27, 2005
  World Stupidity Awards

Handed out in Montreal, here's the tally of the Stupidity Awards:

The Winners of the 2005 World Stupidity Awards
(Winner in bold)

Stupidest Man of the Year
U.S. Senator John Kerry
Former Ukrainian President Leonid Kuchma
Columnist Ann Coulter
NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman and Players Association Director Bob Goodenow (Shared)
U.S. President George Bush

Dumbest Moment of the Year
Ashlee Simpson on SNL
Basketball fight featuring Ron Artest
Prince Harry showing up to party in Nazi suit
Tom Cruise on Oprah
Russell Crowe throwing a phone at somebody's head

Stupidest Statement of the Year
"Can you handle my truth?" - Britney Spears
"Go Fuck yourself" - Dick Cheney, U.S. Vice President
"Nooooooooooooo" - Darth Vader, in Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith
"They never stop thinking of new ways to harm our Country and our people, and neither do we." U.S. President George W. Bush
"That's hot." - Paris Hilton

Stupidest Movie of the Year
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Alien vs Predator
The Pacifier

Stupidest Woman of the Year
Paris Hilton
Ashlee Simpson
The Runaway Bride
Paula Abdul

Stupidest Trend of the Year
Religious Fundamentalism of all kinds
Crystal Meth
Seeing the Virgin Mary in toast, hamburgers etc...
Climate Change

Stupidest TV Show of the Year
Britney Spears, Chaotic
Surreal Life
The Simple Life
The Beauty and the Geek
Dr. Phil

Dumbest Government of the Year
The Government of Iran
The Government of the United States of America
The Government of Canada
The Government of North Korea
The United Nations

Stupidity Award for Reckless Endangerment of the Planet:
Kim Jong Il, Dictator of North Korea
US President George Bush
The Vatican
The Government of Iran
Paris Hilton

Media Outlet Which Has Best Furthered Ignorance
Fox News
CBS News

Stupidest Award Show of The Year
The Oscars
The Grammys
The Daytime Emmy Awards
The Golden Globes
The World Stupidity Awards

Saturday, July 23, 2005
  Meet my parents

For the most part, the evolution of my psychological state is most concisely explained by this one photo. The tipping point? Dad 1.0's criminal socks and sandals combination.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005
  Everything old is stupid again

We've already witnessed Rodney Dangerfield go back to school. There is, without doubt, no need to see Tommy Lee do the same every week, invading our homes, on television.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005
  Metrosexual Version 2.0

Introducing "the Smoothie". For some reason, the more homophobic America becomes, the increasingly more flamboyantly gay it too becomes. And the sky will darken and the rivers will run red with blood, so will the hillbillies wax their chests, rods and tackle, whilst line dancing in the moonlight to European technotrance. [via Salon]

Monday, July 04, 2005
  Sex versus crash pad...

"No, I did not sleep with my houseguest when she visited Toronto. I can get laid anytime. But finding a friend to stay with in New York? That don't happen everyday."

Thinker Absurd

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