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The AbsurdistThe Absurdist

Wednesday, August 30, 2006
  Google ranks the #1 failure


Tuesday, August 08, 2006
  Vatican City cheers as Madonna finally crucified

A packed stadium of 70,000 pious Roman Catholics, located not but three kilometers from the Vatican City in Rome, erupted in righteous vindication as Madonna was hoisted onto a mirror encrusted crucifix last Sunday. The lynching occurred after religious leaders rallied followers decrying her use sacrilegious imagery in her Confessions world tour. Said an official under conditions of anonymity, "That woman wants a crucifixion on stage? We'll give that two-bit floosy a crucifixion!" Madonna is apparently still dangling nearing death from the disco cross, hands and feet pierced and botoxed brow encircled with a crown of rusty, barbed wire. Placards in Italian encourage passer-byers to hurl rocks, concert paraphernalia and spit at the aging false pop idol. One curio-seeking tourist was overheard to remark,"This is one pose they don't teach in yoga."

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