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The AbsurdistThe Absurdist

Wednesday, March 31, 2004
  Regrettably, my coolness epiphany

Do you now realize that it is way cooler to have not fucked Paris Hilton? It's like showing up at school and all the geeky kids are wearing the exact same pair of sneakers. The idea of cool is part and parcel with its scarcity. And with this bike, apparently eveyone's had a ride. I feel like such a fool. That makes me a total of 5 times uncool: once on video with the Price Is Right on blaring in the background (for some reason she can't do it on camera without the TV on, some weird Navaho Indian spirit sucking supersition thing she has), once at the Motel 8 (she was pissed at daddy that day), once together with Simon Rex, er I mean Sebastian in his bike repair shop, once with tickerbell strapped to my newly waxed chest and once on the back of a long hair Huacayas alpaca. Thankfully, those were all separate occasions.
 

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