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The AbsurdistThe Absurdist

Tuesday, April 06, 2004
  Never leave your Instant Messenger unattended

When you go to a public internet cafe and sign into your instant messenger, ensure you do not leave that cafe without signing out of said instant messenger. Very bad. Very very bad. Some strange bastard could easily come by and violate your entire address book. Fortunately, abused IM conversation logs are fun to review. For example:

IM Usurper Episode 1:

(fake) The Absurdist: Mom. I'm gay.

Mom: I knew it.

(fake) The Absurdist: You did?

Mom: yes.

(fake) The Absurdist: I want a sex change.

Mom: you always looked better in dresses.

(fake) The Absurdist: i want huge tits.

Mom: if you're going to be a woman, you might as well have big tits.

(fake) The Absurdist: do you still love me?

Mom: do I have a choice?

(fake) The Absurdist: stop judging me.

Mom: to judge, I first need to care

(fake) The Absurdist: I'm actually not your son. I'm a stranger in an internet cafe. this IM account was left open.

Mom: again, still not caring

(fake) The Absurdist: You people are messed up

Mom: it's nice that you care enough to judge

(fake) The Absurdist: this is too weird.

end session.

*"Mom" may or may have not actually been "Mom".

Thinker Absurd

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