When others try to "get" me while in an awefully pissy mood
The Absurdist on Feedback:
"The other day Mark called me a misanthrope. A freakin misantrope! You see? This is why I hate people."
The Absurdist on Hipsters:
"Hipsters totally suck, with their pretentious art-fuck scenesterism and relentless pursuit of cool shit. Could you return my Xiu Xiu cd and my copy of Donnie Darko?"
The Absurdist on Dieting:
"Gawd, it's so pointless. I mean, c'mon. If Atkins died comatose and morbidly obese off an IV drip, then what the hell chance do you think you've really got?"
The Absurdist on Aging:
"I'm so over this whole age shit. Age is just a number and I'm as cool as I feel. Could you return my Dido cd and my fondue set?"