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The AbsurdistThe Absurdist

Monday, May 03, 2004
  May 6th Gallery Opening: Declined for reasons of generation-defining television program watching obligation

The following is an invitation to a photographer's invite to her gallery opening, Thursday May 6th and appended declined invitation response:
Dear Naomi,

Thank you very much for the invitation to your exciting gallery opening. Although I am familiar with your work and find it a fascinating study of tanned, elderly portraiture in sexy, sunny South Beach, I unfortunately must decline your invitation.

It's not because I am not fan of your work. Quite the opposite. If find your imagery both juxtoposed in subject/setting and surreal in contextual motif. My reason for declining is singular and irrefutably significant to a late-twenties early-thirties urban dwelling, not so hip but comfortable in hip circles kind of fellow like myself. I am committed to watch the series finale of "Friends".

Call it a massive conflict of schedule that I am sure will befall any artist, painter, playwright or photographer fool enough to schedule their opening night opposite the juggernaut timeslot of Thursday night Must-See-TV. I feel it is my cultural obligation to bear witness to this generational epoch. It's been a decade in the making, and each episode has helped define a TV nation by the broadcast mores of yuppie urban social conduct. I have compiled a short list of important issues so boldly addressed on this stately program:

12 step recovery expose on intra-marriage neo-lesbian love triangle, with prerequisite child that virtually vanishes by the end of the series.
"The Rachel" as career making hairstyle study.
The importance of social circle musical-chair dating.
Fat girls grow up to be hot, thin and neat-freak neurotic.
Geeks score chicks like Jennifer Aniston.
Effeminate men score fat girls that grow up to be hot, thin, and neat-freak neurotic.
Manhattan apartments of improbable size are quite common among the average income stunningly attractive set.
Struggling actor types are just plain stupid genius spin-off series fodder.
You don't have to be as strikingly attractive as your friends as long as you compensate by being exceptionally eccentric, marginally tuneful with lightly amusing folksongs about stinky felines, doubled as a twin or incestuous child bearer for blood relatives.

There are dozens more of telling examples and I would further collect and present them to you, but I have to go watch contestants obliterate their genetic identity on a cosmetic surgery infomercial parading as a reality TV show called "The Swan." Best of luck with the photography.

Yours truly,
The Absurdist
 

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