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The AbsurdistThe Absurdist

Friday, September 24, 2004
  Sir Elton John vs Vile Pigs

It's rather amusing when celebrities attack. Particularly at airports. True, the level of privacy intrusion we celebrities must endure, even such minor incognito internet luminaries such as myself, is positively astounding. Sanity crushing. Male menstral cramp inducing. But when queeny, knighted, "living legend" celebrities go apeshit in foreign countries in flamboyant dramatic extravegance? Bring it on.

While touching down in Taipei's Chiang Kai-shek airport, a touchy Sir Elton was reportedly mobbed by a bloodthirsty pack of media attack dogs. In the ensuing swarm, the following dialogue transpired:

Sir Elton to media mob: "Rude vile pigs! Do You know what that means? Rude vile pigs! That's what all of you are!"

Retorting Photographer: "Why don't you get out of Taiwan?"

Retorting Sir Elton: "We'd love to get out of Taiwan if it's full of people like you. Pig! Pig!"

The Absurdist *hearts* Elton John bitch slapping foreign press. It has assumed supremcy over Bjork going feral on a reporter in Thailand and fey fitness guru Richard Simmons open handing a foolish taunter.
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