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The AbsurdistThe Absurdist

Thursday, February 03, 2005
  Unborn baby already forced to beg like a common fetal street urchin

"Hello y'all. My name is Elise Harp y'all. I'm preggers as y'all can see and if y'all think I'm a pretty honey single mom and think my belly is gonna make a pretty cool advertising billboard and stuff, then go to eBay and put a bid up on buying some ad space on my belly y'all." While enterprising Elise may think her belly ad offer quite enticing, consider her media competition: the forehead.

Reportedly a gentleman made upwards of 20 thousand pounds for auctioning off his forehead, which Elise sites as the muse to her endeavour. While the forehead is a victimless crime (it is 100% self inflicted), we contacted the National Right to Life, an organization "committed to protect human life from conception" and "restore legal protection to innocent human life."

While our phone calls were abrupted and repeatedly cut short by what we can only assume are faulty phone connections, we then turned out sites to the Child Labor Coalition to put a stop to this shameless act of fetus exploitation.

With grizzled resolve to stop the embryonic slavery, we continue to patiently wait by the phone for the CLC to return our calls.

Thinker Absurd

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